Friday, December 9, 2011

Weerkend Reflections: Life lessons




This is a reflection post of a different kind, but because being a teacher and a co leader of a conmunity group, I reckon I can use this as a life lesson and not continue to hold grudge against thme. The issue is what do you do when people consistently take advantage of you? Do you forgive and forget?

Having lived past half a century and three continents, it is inevitable that that people do take adavantage of you. I am listing just two.

Today, I was opening a plastic bag of potatoes , and what did I see. On a tag was the name Nadine. It jolted my memory. Nadine is a fictional name I gave to the heroine of the first story I wrote. She had done everything what you would call a neighbor from hell, like borrowing money, borrowing stuff, your time and not returning them. I stopped any contact with her when I moved house.

Another person was similar, she had a far better job than me and much better financially, She did what Nadine did but on a bigger scale. I even wrote an affidavit for her to take to the court. She avoided me as though I had the plague. Sadly she became a friend no more. One day, a friend told me she met someone I knew. I asked her and she mentioned the name. She still regarded me as a friend.

Should I have continued to be their friends? My other friends told me I would remain their victims because I didn't know how to say," Sorry, I can't."

Have you encountered such people? What would you have done?

By: Observing the Sounds of the World

My fellow bereaved mum Ellen posted this on her Facebook. It seems to be the perfect advice to my post. I asked if she and I have ESP.


everything goes with potatoes.co.nz

Seasonal changes and potato types
Potato texture changes throughout the year. As the season progresses a potato changes e.g. an Ilam Hardy early in the season (October) is quite waxy. As the Ilam Hardy gets older it is a good all-purpose potato, whilst towards the end of the season when a lot more of the natural sugars have converted to starch, it tends to be floury! Not all potatoes show such a range of characteristics.
Weather, climate and soil have a dramatic effect on the cooking performance of a potato e.g. a Southland grown Nadine may be very waxy whilst a Pukekohe grown Nadine may be only slightly waxy. Flavour is also influenced.


Unknown said...

First, a response to your question on my post. It's been a few years since I had an exhibition and sold my art (my job as a graphic designer got in the way!)' but I am focussing more on my it now... With my move to California, I am reassessing my options :D.

Yes, I've gone to school with someone who is a pain the butt. She told me one day she didn't know why our school friends dropped out of her circle one by one. And friends asked me why I put up with her. 2 years ago, I could take no more. I too dropped out of her circle.

But I decided to resolve it, since I have nothing to lose. I am going back to KL soon, and have made contact with her to catch up. It's not very Chinese or Malaysian to speak openly, but I plan to do that... Wish me luck!

Ginny Hartzler said...

Well, as Christians, we are to forgive seventy times seven. But not let ourselves be used. Continue to be friendly, but politely turn down things that are unreasonable for you

Ann, Chen Jie Xue 陈洁雪 said...

I haven't seen the first person for 30 years. The second is still in my city, but I didn't she avoids me because she owes me a lot of money.

Rune Eide said...

No dinner without potatoes, whatever their names or natures :-)

Anonymous said...

I think the best way to deal with situations like these is to take the bull by the horns and talk to the person directly. Tell them that you don't like being used and ask them why they think it is OK... Firmly - but in a friendly way.

EG CameraGirl said...

I like the advice LadyFi gave. It's the honest way to put the issue out in the open.

Francisca said...

I'm with LafyFi and EGWow... I draw my lines of justice. I have had my trust and generosity abused many times, but I don't let it change me. I don't carry the emotional baggage either. It's their karma, not mine.

Halcyon said...

How strange that some potatoes were missing and there was a name in there. Quite odd!

genie said...

Ann...My reply is different from the others. I have been hurt many times in my life starting during childhood, so over the years I have become very protective of my feeling and well being. Once someone is mean or unkind to me is a way that is seriously hurtful or threatening, I withdraw completely. I am polite and will speak in passing, but that is it. There have been teachers at work over the years who have treated less than respectfully, and that is that. I have nothing to do with them. I will speak if spoken to, but that is about it. I literally move on without the person or persons. They continue to hurt others around me, but I am way out of the picture. Life is too short to me mean and hurtful to others, and middle school children these days are the worst. They are so hurtful to one another and seem not to care in the least. It breaks my heart. Now, to your potatoes. Nice reflections. They are really white, clean ones, too. genie

Tania said...

Well, we should forgive, but do not let us use .. it is difficult, but you will feel better by forgiving.

Nice post:-)

Icy BC said...

I haven't learned how to say no gracefully yet..I'm a sucker to yes and then regret later.

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